in the last week, one major thing has happened.
in fact, it happened last night.
my brother got married.
I'm extremely happy for them. I'm extremely happy to have a sister in law. I cried my eyes out at the wedding. I apparently looked gorgeous in my bridesmaid dress. I danced with guys I haven't seen since I was 12. I passed out in the middle of the ceremony (long story, but I'm ok now).
Right now all I want is a cigarette and a shot of jack. I want to sit up on top of the hill and smoke in the dark and think about the fact that I'm lonely and tired and someone "put away" my Prozac and it is now lost.
Alix and I are gonna get together in a couple of minutes and we're gonna be stopping at the gas station. I'm tempted to buy a pack of cigarettes and after she drops me off again just to go out and sit and smoke till I'm out of 'em.
It's just one of those nights.
I'm ready to get back to Spokane.
And I've never been more tempted in my life to just hop in one of the cars in my driveway and head out for Detroit. Have the driving directions printed out and in my pocket, even.
Of course, the only other thing in my pocket is my driver's license and $4, which is all the money I have access to until Thursday night, and it ain't enough to get me to Detroit.
Alix is here. I'm off.
Love,
Beth
today, too?