I'm imagining the way you say my name
I don't know when I'm gonna hear it again
You know my friends can't tell
my laughter from my cries
somebody tell this photograph of you
to let go of my eyes..
So this morning after I got out of the shower, I was in the bathroom downstairs fixing my hair and was suddenly hit by a wave of pain so strong and so sharp that I couldn't stand up straight. I doubled over and then just fell onto the floor.
Crawled into the living room and curled up on the couch, rocking myself back and forth until it passed.
This isn't fair. Didn't I just go through tihs? I could've sworn I just went through this. But I looked in my packet of pills and, lo and behold, I am due for yet another week of Excruciating Pain and Unhappiness.
When it finally passed I got up and went back into the bathroom to finish fixing my hair. When I glanced in the mirror, I was surprised--my face was totally white and my lips were really pale. I looked better after putting on some lipstick, I suppose, but... I don't know. It disturbed me.
My hands are white too. Not totally, but they go white when it starts to hurt again.
It's kind of funny because you'll read book from two hundred years ago about people going white from pain and I've never seen it happen. Until this morning, I guess.
I've been in pain before. I've been in a hell of a lot of pain.
Never like that.
Gonna have to break out the hydrocodone again. Ugh.
Love,
Beth
today, too?